Gentleman’s Guide to the Goddess 2: Mind your Mind

Women are highly intuitive creatures, much more so then us men. On a subtle level, they know what you are thinking. To treat a woman well, you have to be in the right mindset. This installment of the Gentleman’s Guide to the Goddess is about raising your mental discipline to the higher levels of consciousness.

Mind your mind

The first step in finding the goddess of your dreams is to “mind your mind,” to be present in your thoughts. This may be difficult at first.

Our survival-based animal minds (first chakra) think about only one thing… Pop culture glorifies raw sexiness as a cardinal virtue. However as you grow into adult life, it is time to rise up to the higher realms of consciousness and respect those of her as well. Long story short, if your brain still processes beautiful women as “chicks”, you have a long way to go. But there is hope for you if you are willing to step up to the plate.

Your job as a gentleman is–even in your head–to use words like “beautiful, gorgeous, healthy, radiant and amazing.” Once you do, women will feel that. Train your mind to not be a dog.

For example, look at this gorgeous photo of Milena Zuchowicz shot by photographer Della Bass. Where does your mind go? Do you see the sophisticated, powerful young goddess, or does the music from Boogie Nights start playing in your head?

Mind your Mind - Model: Milena at Wilhelmina Models Stylist: Dianna Lee Makeup and hair: Deborah Altizio Model is wearing dress by Dianna Designs NYC

Milena Zuchowicz shot by Della Bass photography

Now: Mind your mind! Your challenge is to bring your energy to the higher chakras and appreciate all aspects of beauty, not just those of sexual attraction.


Women in today’s society deal with a tremendous amount of objectification, which is something we men know nothing about. Objectification is “treating a person as a thing, without regard to their dignity”. The more you appreciate this, the more you can stop yourself, and step towards genuine kindness and respect.

Fashion designer Norma Kamali is fighting this battle head on with her site, to raise awareness and empower women as individuals.

This is an underrated topic that needs to be addressed in today’s culture. Progress is showing up in the form of brands like Aerie not using photoshopped images for their ads, but it has a long way to go. Be an ally of this front and the greater Goddess energy will thank you.

Exercises to learn to Mind your Mind

So now that we’ve talked about some things to be aware of, here are some exercises for you to strengthen your mental muscle:

    - Never ever use the word “chick” again–even in your internal monologue. When you do, you will cease to be a boy, and will become a man.

    - See the beauty in everyone. Next time you are in public, be aware of who you are paying attention to. Men have radar for women that look sexy. Look at everyone else.

    - Try to understand how much pressure society puts on women to be lean, young, beautiful and sexy. Appreciate the women that do not play into that, these are often the people that are the most interesting. They are not lemmings, they are individuals, they don’t let society tell them how they should be.

    - As you walk down the street and see a beautiful woman, have discipline and don’t make vulgar comments to yourself. Say “beautiful” instead of those frat boy comments running through your mind when a lady turns your head. (And for God’s sake, don’t stare at her backside!)

Most of all, don’t judge people. “Everyone has a cross to bear,” so if you want kindness and tolerance to come back at you, you’d best exercise kindness and tolerance in your mind towards everyone you see, no matter how they are dressed or how crazy they look. Everyone is beautiful if you allow yourself to see it. That realization alone, can change the world.

- by Jon Heinrich

Photographer: Della Bass
Model: Milena at Wilhelmina Models
Stylist: Dianna Lee
Makeup and hair: Deborah Altizio
Model is wearing dress by Dianna Designs NYC

For more information about Della Bass photography, please email us.

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