Mind your mind

The first step in finding the goddess of your dreams is to “mind your mind,” to be present in your thoughts. This may be difficult at first.

Our survival-based animal minds (first chakra) think about only one thing… Pop culture glorifies raw sexiness as a cardinal virtue. However as you grow into adult life, it is time to rise up to the higher realms of consciousness and respect those of her as well. Long story short, if your brain still processes beautiful women as “chicks”, you have a long way to go. But there is hope for you if you are willing to step up to the plate.

Your job as a gentleman is–even in your head–to use words like “beautiful, gorgeous, healthy, radiant and amazing.” Once you do, women will feel that. Train your mind to not be a dog.

For example, look at this gorgeous photo of Milena Zuchowicz shot by photographer Della Bass. Where does your mind go? Do you see the sophisticated, powerful young goddess, or does the music from Boogie Nights start playing in your head?

Milena Zuchowicz shot by Della Bass photography

Now: Mind your mind! Your challenge is to bring your energy to the higher chakras and appreciate all aspects of beauty, not just those of sexual attraction.

Objectivation

Women in today’s society deal with a tremendous amount of objectification, which is something we men know nothing about. Objectification is “treating a person as a thing, without regard to their dignity”. The more you appreciate this, the more you can stop yourself, and step towards genuine kindness and respect.

Fashion designer Norma Kamali is fighting this battle head on with her site www.stopobjectification.com, to raise awareness and empower women as individuals.

This is an underrated topic that needs to be addressed in today’s culture. Progress is showing up in the form of brands like Aerie not using photoshopped images for their ads, but it has a long way to go. Be an ally of this front and the greater Goddess energy will thank you.

Exercises to learn to Mind your Mind

So now that we’ve talked about some things to be aware of, here are some exercises for you to strengthen your mental muscle:

- Never ever use the word “chick” again–even in your internal monologue. When you do, you will cease to be a boy, and will become a man.

- See the beauty in everyone. Next time you are in public, be aware of who you are paying attention to. Men have radar for women that look sexy. Look at everyone else.

- Try to understand how much pressure society puts on women to be lean, young, beautiful and sexy. Appreciate the women that do not play into that, these are often the people that are the most interesting. They are not lemmings, they are individuals, they don’t let society tell them how they should be.

- As you walk down the street and see a beautiful woman, have discipline and don’t make vulgar comments to yourself. Say “beautiful” instead of those frat boy comments running through your mind when a lady turns your head. (And for God’s sake, don’t stare at her backside!)

Most of all, don’t judge people. “Everyone has a cross to bear,” so if you want kindness and tolerance to come back at you, you’d best exercise kindness and tolerance in your mind towards everyone you see, no matter how they are dressed or how crazy they look. Everyone is beautiful if you allow yourself to see it. That realization alone, can change the world.

- by Jon Heinrich

Credits:
Photographer: Della Bass
Model: Milena at Wilhelmina Models
Stylist: Dianna Lee
Makeup and hair: Deborah Altizio
Model is wearing dress by Dianna Designs NYC

For more information about Della Bass photography, please email us.

A Gentleman’s Guide to the Goddess is a new series on Meniscus Magazine for men, for women. This is not a pick-up manual, but rather an inquiry to higher consciousness achieved by finding your soul mate and the spiritual journey achieved through divine union of two open hearts in love.

First question: why listen to me? Am I James Bond? No. The reason you should read A Gentleman’s Guide is because I don’t know what I’m talking about. I admitted that, and my willingness to let go of my ego and ask questions was my first step of learning. “I don’t know, but I want to.”

The divine union with a goddess is the most enlightening thing this planet has to offer—so it is definitely worth a study.

I was awkward teen, never dated mch in HS, and not a ladies man. I lost my virginity when I was 20, and not long after that, right after college I got into a long term relationship with a girl with a deep Catholic upbringing, so we were a good match…

When we broke up I was 30 and I was starting over. Like a teen, I was confused, randy and looking for love..

I did my research, read books, had experiences, but most of all, I found my soul mate and that has been the most potent learning experience I have had to date.

“The Vedic concept speaks about the womb chakra. If you take Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Shirdi Baba, Buddha, and Jesus Christ, they received amazing light only through women. Without women, any divine soul cannot win the greatest enlightenment in his life. Women are that much more powerful than the men.” -Sri Kaleshwar

First – be complete
The first step in attracting your worthy life partner is to work on yourself—always and forever. The Soka Gaiki Buddhists often refer to the act of “polishing the mirror.” This is a metaphor that extends through many faiths, that our lives reflect what is within ourselves. This is an entire conversation unto itself, but for this conversation, suffice it to say, we attract people like ourselves.

That famous “you complete me” scene in the movie Jerry McGuire is all wrong. Do not look for someone to “complete you”, that will just bring another incomplete individual with holes into your life. So in order to attract someone that does not have debilitating issues, you need to work through your own debilitating issues. As men, that is often hard for us, because we were taught from pop culture that men are strong and to put up an emotional shield to protect our toughness instead of being vulnerable and open so we can work through our junk. Until you really open up to it, you may not even know what your issues are. But we all have them.

So first off, unpack your baggage. Maybe you were abused as a kid. Maybe you were born Catholic like I was. Maybe you are just human and have built-in issues like the Oedipus complex that may be manifesting in any number of ways.

Do the work. Clean out your head. Purify your mind. Detox your psyche. We have all met women with issues (again, who does not have issues!?). You will continue to attract people with issues commensurate to your own.

Ask yourself: what patterns have I been re living over and over? You may blame your partner, but we all attract who reflects our personality. Ask yourself, what was the lesson and did I learn it? How do I move forward and stop this pattern?

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” ― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

Modern men are trained by pop culture to emulate Hans Solo, James Bond, Tom Brady, Tom Cruise and Clint Eastwood. This is all an illusion, these people are in entertainment and not real. So let’s talk about real life.

So for this first installment of The Gentleman’s Guide to the Goddess, your exercise is to look within and to see what issues you have been carrying around with you that you don’t want to have come up when you meet the woman of your dreams. You probably know what they are but have been subconsciously suppressing them for years. Time to dig them up. In future installments I will give you more ways to work through your junk, but for now, your challenge is to dig deep and see what they are.

I will also be covering many other angles about how to be a perfect gentleman to your Goddess, including:
- Girlfriend etiquette
- Integrity
- Sharpening the sexual sword
- Fashion
- Awareness of objectification
- Health
- and meditations to support these pursuits.

It is a long road well worth traveling. Today’s exercise is to remember, we all reflect and attract what is within, so go forth, and polish that mirror!

- By Jon Heinrich

Photography by Jon Heinrich
Model: Marie Wu

Thank you for finally stepping out of the centuries-old mold and bringing the Church around to tolerance and unconditional love. I am SURE Jesus would agree with your comments on gay marriage, you are right, who are any of us to judge?

I would like to propose another change that has been carved in stone for some time, the Sign of the Cross. There is something that is just not right, that we mention only the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

No one on this planet—especially Jesus—has ever done one single thing without the help of a woman. Women are the key to our survival and procreation on this planet. So why does the Sign of the Cross deliberately omit Mother Mary from this most common prayer? There are even four spaces for the hand gestures (up, down, left, right.)

She is most certainly divine as she was chosen to be the worldly vessel of “God’s only son” in the immaculate conception. Does she not deserve the recognition as part of the Holy family?

Perhaps it is more accurate that the Holy Spirit is reached through the union of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, which is the secret of Creation on this planet.

Please consider it, dearest Francis, this is a time of awakening and the more we invite the Divine Feminine into our lives, the more balanced and intuitive we will all become,

Respectfully submitted,

with love,

Below: The Virgin Mary hears news of her future from God’s right hand man, Angel Gabriel. “Talk about a mind job!”

Fra Angelico’s The Annunciation (c. 1438): Virgin Mary meets the Angel Gabriel to be told she will give birth to Jesus Christ.

- By Jon Heinrich